shade of thumb

I must have stood out amongst the more professional browsers, because no sooner had I arrived than I was approached by a green-thumbed expert and kindly asked if I needed help. Admitting that I would probably benefit from some guidance, I followed him towards a hardy variety of aster that, he assured me, would bloom with no effort on my part. Admiring the violety-fuschiay blooms for a minute, my gaze then drifted to another, odd-looking vine. So it was that I learned an intriguing moniker tidbit: "Solomon's Plume" is a unique little vine that is often confused with its more stately cousin, "Solomon's Seal." In fact, my learned companion continued, the Plume is more commonly referred to as "Fake Solomon's Seal."
I empathize with the poor plant, as I could probably just as easily be known as a "Fake Gardener." So much so that my lack of skill extends even further than the planting itself: I was going to include an illustrative photo, but it was not to be. You see, I am so deadly to plants that they even shrink from me when I am a camera-length away: so the photo that I took did not turn out in the slightest . . .
Resisting the temptation to purchase a doomed horticultural delight, I returned to enjoy what I do best in the yard, and worked on the partially-mowed lawn :-)